


Alien Plants Made Them Do It

by artenon



Series: RoyEd Week 2017 [7]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex Pollen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 15:33:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11947245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artenon/pseuds/artenon
Summary: Dr. Knox hesitates, then shrugs. “He says, and I quote, ‘My dick feels like it’s going to explode. Do something, cut it off if you have to.’ I figured we could save that for a last resort.”(Roy gets hit with sex pollen and Ed takes care of him.)





	Alien Plants Made Them Do It

**Author's Note:**

> oops, i had a busy weekend so i didn't finish my last fic for royed week until now. i'm a few days late but I FINISHED A FIC FOR EVERY DAY OF ROYED WEEK YAY!
> 
> i was going to write an actually plotty star trek AU thing but instead i ended up writing entirely self-indulgent sex pollen smutfic which is hopefully both hot and funny.
> 
> NOTE: ed and roy are in an established relationship, but roy IS under the influence of sex pollen, so be warned for potential dubious consent issues (ed is concerned about it but gets roy off anyway, and there's a brief conversation about it later in the fic), if that's not your thing!

The summons to the medical bay interrupted Ed’s titrations, so he’s already annoyed as he stomps down the halls of the _USS Veritas_. He may have medical training but he’s not a doctor, so he doesn’t know why Dr. Knox insists on calling him whenever someone gets a rash from an alien equivalent of poison ivy.

“I’m trained to deal with combat injuries, not bad reactions to flowers,” he’ll always grumble, but honestly, doesn’t anyone in his staff specialize plant biology?

Ed should talk to Roy about finding another doctor to bring on board because seriously, treating patients is not in his job description. He’s here to explore the universe and science the shit out of plants.

He’s not expecting much when he gets to the private patient room Dr. Knox specified, and he’s definitely not expecting Roy to be the waiting patient, flushed and convulsing in a too-small bed, white sheets soaked through with sweat.

“Roy!” Ed rushes to his side, annoyance washed away by an onslaught of fear. “What the hell happened?”

“Ed,” Roy gasps. His fingers spasm in the sheets.

Ed turns frantically to Dr. Knox. “Doctor—”

“Commander Hawkeye brought him back, said he’d been exposed to chemicals from a plant on the planet. His body temperature is elevated, and he’s sweating profusely and experiencing muscle spasms.”

“Yeah,” Ed says, and maybe he hasn’t lost all the annoyance after all, “tell me something I can’t see.”

“I’m getting to it, kid,” Dr. Knox says. Ed is in his twenties and hardly a kid, but he bites his tongue because there are more important things. “We put him through the shower but it didn’t seem to alleviate his symptoms. Whatever he got sprayed with is well in his system now. He’s going to be dehydrated soon at this rate; he’s drinking water—” He nods at a plastic cup sitting on the bedside table. “—but we may have to hook him up to an IV. Also…” Dr. Knox hesitates, then shrugs. “He says, and I quote, ‘My dick feels like it’s going to explode. Do something, cut it off if you have to.’ I figured we could save that for a last resort.”

“It’s over for me. I’m dying,” Roy moans. “Ed, listen to me… I need you to tell Hawkeye that I love her.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Ed says, turning to glare at him. “You’re obviously fine if you’re inviting me to kick your ass.”

“Payback,” Roy says, breathless. “Last time you were in the medbay you told me to tell Al you loved him.” He gasps sharply, then curls in on himself with a low moan.

“Fuck!” Ed puts his hand on Roy’s shoulder. He can feel Roy’s elevated body temperature even through his uniform and undershirt. “Hang on, Roy.”

Roy grabs his hand and crushes it in his grip, pulling him in. He presses a clammy cheek to Ed’s hand, breathing wetly against his palm. His eyes are squeezed tight and his eyebrows are knitted. Sweat trickles down the bridge of his nose.

Ed’s in an awkward position, hunched over Roy with one of his hands in a death grip. He glances over his shoulder at Dr. Knox, who is thankfully taking the situation in stride. He’s probably seen all sorts of shit and just doesn’t have it in him to be bothered anymore.

“Have you got a sample of the plant that poisoned him?” Ed asks.

“Yes, Commander Hawkeye gave me this.” Dr. Knox holds up a sealed transparent bag and passes it to Ed. “We also have tricorder readings. Should I pull them up?”

“No need,” Ed says, turning the bag around in his hand. “I know what this is.”

“Oh, good,” Dr. Knox says. “Let’s get this over with then, what medicine do you need?”

Roy pushes his face into the hand he still has captive, like he can’t get close enough. He moans softly. Ed closes his eyes and draws a breath.

“No medicine,” he says, tossing the bag back to Dr. Knox and moving his free hand to tug at Roy’s arm. “I’m taking him back to his quarters. He needs to drink a fuckton of water and sleep it off.”

“It’d be better if he stayed here so you can monitor his vitals,” Dr. Knox says.

Ed pulls Roy into a sitting position. “Trust me on this one, Doc,” he says. “He’s just gonna be a pain in your ass if he stays.”

Dr. Knox snorts and turns away. “I don’t get paid enough to deal with his bullshit anyway. Fine, do what you want. I have other patients to look after.”

“Let Commander Hawkeye know she’s Acting Captain for the next twelve hours,” Ed says to his retreating back. “He should be fit to return to active duty by then.”

Dr. Knox lifts a hand in acknowledgement and disappears from the room.

Ed turns to Roy, his stomach twisting in an inexplicable mix of relief and apprehension now that they’re alone. “Can you stand?”

Roy makes a noise in the back of his throat that might be assent. Ed tugs gently on his arm.

Roy stands. And immediately stumbles forward.

Ed catches him, bracing one hand on his shoulder and one on his waist. Roy’s eyes are glassy and his pupils are blown wide. His face is flushed. Ed swallows and feels arousal stirring red-hot in his stomach despite his concern.

Roy cups the back of Ed’s neck, hot like an open flame against Ed’s bare skin. Roy leans forward and presses his forehead against Ed’s. He’s sticky with sweat.

“Roy?” Ed asks softly, bringing his left hand up to touch Roy’s cheek. It’s hot and coated in sweat, just like the rest of him. “Roy, you with me?”

Roy moans. “Ed…”

“I got you,” Ed says. “Come on, Roy. Let’s get you back to your room.”

Roy exhales through his mouth but doesn’t say anything. Ed guides him out of the room, wrapping his automail arm around Roy’s back to support his weight. Roy stumbles alongside him, quiet save for his loud exhalations punctuated by moans of pain.

It feels like it takes forever to get to the elevator, then to the floor with the officer’s cabins, and then all the way to the end of the hall to the captain’s quarters. It’s a minor miracle that they don’t run into anyone; Ed can’t imagine how Roy would feel later, knowing someone under his command saw him in this state. Right now, he probably wouldn’t even notice if a whole group of people walked right by them. It seems to take all his effort just to put one foot in front of the other.

They finally make it inside Roy’s room, and Ed enables the lock before guiding Roy to the bed. Roy collapses onto it and curls in on himself.

“Roy, do you understand me?” Ed asks. “Say something.”

Roy groans, probably coincidentally.

“Fuck,” Ed whispers. He’s hard—how could he not be, with Roy so flushed and hot and moaning in his ear—but he can’t shake off the wrongness of the situation.

“I’m going to take your clothes off, okay? You’re probably stuffy in your uniform anyway.”

Roy doesn’t respond.

He’s got to be clinical about this. He coaxes Roy back into a sitting position, and then out of his gold command shirt and black regulation undershirt.

Roy’s blush extends to his chest.

Ed closes his eyes and counts to ten. He has to be professional. Roy is his patient right now, not his boyfriend. Ed opens his eyes. He undoes Roy’s pants and tugs them down along with his boxers.

Roy’s dick is blood-dark and erect, and Ed bites down a moan.

He pulls his own clothes off, and then he climbs into bed with Roy. The moment he touches Roy’s bare skin, Roy is on him, wrapping his overwarm naked body around Ed’s and holding tight.

The skin-on-skin contact is supposed to help Roy feel better, but Ed wishes it didn’t come with the consequence of making him feel like he’s ablaze inside and out.

Roy buries his face in Ed’s neck and shudders.

“Hey,” Ed says, stroking his hair. “I got you.”

Roy’s erection rubs against Ed’s stomach and they moan in tandem.

“Fuck,” Ed breathes. “It’s okay. I’m gonna take care of you, Roy.”

It feels stupid to keep talking to Roy when he’s obviously too far gone to acknowledge or even understand him, but Ed does anyway, needs to keep up some semblance of normalcy for fear that he’ll lose himself in this, too. Roy’s condition isn’t contagious but it might as well be with how much it’s affecting Ed secondhand.

He reaches down and wraps his automail hand around Roy’s dick, careful that his grip isn’t too tight. It’s better this way, he tells himself. Less personal. Like this, he can’t feel the pre-come slicking Roy’s dick.

But he _can_ feel the heat of Roy’s skin against the rest of his body and the wet hot press of Roy’s open mouth against his neck, everything going straight down to Ed’s dick trapped and straining between their bodies.

Roy groans and cants his hips into Ed’s hand. Ed squeezes lightly and slides his hand up and down a few times, and Roy comes with a shout, locking his arms around Ed.

Ed’s so hard now he can hardly think, but he forces it away, stroking Roy’s hair as he pants raggedly against Ed’s neck.

“Roy?” he whispers.

Roy moans.

“You’ve got to shower,” Ed says. “Trust me, you’ll feel better.”

He gets another moan in response.

“Moan twice if you understand me,” Ed says, poking him.

“Sh-shut up,” Roy mumbles. “M’dying.”

“You are not,” Ed says, unable to withhold a sigh of relief. “Shower, let’s go.”

He hoists Roy up and half-carries him to the shower. Ed pushes him into the shower and turns the water on cold. He closes the shower door and leans against it with a loud exhale.

He wonders how tasteless it would be to go jack off right now. He battles with his resolve for a minute and then Roy’s shaky voice carries over the rush of water: “My dick hurts.”

“You and me both,” Ed mutters.

“What’s that?”

“Just finish showering,” Ed says loudly, and gets a muffled thump in response. “Roy?”

Roy doesn’t say anything, and Ed peeks into the shower. Roy is leaning against the wall, his arms wrapped around himself and his face twisted in pain. Mixed water and sweat rolls down his body.

He’s hard again.

“Fuck,” Ed says.

“Please,” Roy says.

 _Fuck_. At least he’s already naked.

Ed steps into the shower and closes the door behind him. He shivers; the water is freezing.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“What,” Roy gasps, “for.”

“You’re…sick,” Ed says. “You don’t actually want this.”

Roy cracks an eye open at him. “Always…want this.”

“Yeah, sure,” Ed says. “But not like this.”

Roy moans, and it sounds more in pain than arousal.

“This is cold,” Ed says, “and unpleasant, and we are never having shower sex again after this.”

He drops to his knees and wraps a hand around the base of Roy’s dick—the flesh one this time. The automail hand he wraps around Roy’s thigh to steady himself.

Roy buries his hands in Ed’s hair, tugging none too gently.

“Fucking impatient. Don’t you dare choke me,” Ed says, and puts his mouth around Roy’s dick.

“A-ah,” Roy stutters, bucking his hips and nearly hitting the back of his throat.

Honestly, what did he _just_ say.

Streams of cold water hits Ed’s shoulders, trickling down his arm and back. It’s so fucking cold. At least Roy is standing in the spray, taking the brunt of it, whatever good that’s doing for him. He’s still burning up wherever Ed touches him.

He shifts and takes as much of Roy as he can his mouth before sliding out again, moving his hand up and down with him. He’s thick and heavy and feels amazing and Ed has to remind himself why they’re here like this right now.

Roy hunches over, hands still tangled in Ed’s hair, close to his scalp. He’s going to fucking rip Ed’s hair off at this rate. Ed uses his automail hand to tug at Roy’s wrists until he lets go. He pulls his mouth off and stands, keeping his hand closed around Roy’s dick.

Roy leans heavily against him, one hand wrapped around his shoulders and the other around his torso.

“Ed,” he breathes.

“Fucking right,” Ed says, stroking him. “You’re desperate enough to take anyone right now, but don’t forget it’s me doing this for you.”

“Ed, oh, f-fuck,” Roy whines, shuddering. “I love you.”

Ed bites his lip and hides his face in Roy’s hair. “Love you, too,” he whispers.

Roy comes with a shout, squeezing the breath out of Ed and spilling and spilling onto the shower floor. Ed watches the come swirl down the drain and swallows thickly.

“Come on,” he says roughly. “Let’s get you dried off.”

Roy gets out of the shower on his own, which is already an improvement, but then he just stands there, listless, and Ed pats him down with a clean white towel. He’s not burning up like before but his body temperature is still too high. When he reaches Roy’s crotch, he sees that he’s already getting hard again.

“Are you fucking serious.”

“My dick will never rest again,” Roy bemoans. “I’m going to die like this.”

“Stop being a baby,” Ed says. He dries himself off with the towel and pushes Roy back to the bedroom ahead of him. He fills a plastic cup with water from the sink and follows Roy. “At least you’re coherent now.”

“Yes,” Roy says, gingerly lowering himself onto the bed. He accepts the cup. “Now I can think about how much pain I’m in instead of just feeling it.”

Ed is concerned and exasperated in equal measure. “It’s not too bad anymore, is it?”

“I feel like a ticking time bomb,” Roy says. He drinks half the cup and then inhales sharply, dropping spilling the rest of the water onto the sheets. He falls onto his side on the bed, digging his fingers into the sheet. “Ed,” he moans. “Ed…”

Ed moves the cup out of the way. “What’s wrong? It should be getting better. Do you feel worse?”

Roy mumbles something into the sheets, and Ed touches his cheek. He’s flushed and sweating like he’s back to square one.

“Roy, talk to me.”

Roy ruts helplessly into the mattress. “Need you,” he bites out, “to fuck me.”

“Oh, God,” Ed chokes out. “Are you sure? You’re not exactly in your right m—”

“Ed. Please.”

“Fuck,” Ed says. “Okay. But I’m warning you, I’m not gonna last long.”

There’s a half-empty bottle of lube in the nightstand, and Ed wastes no time getting it and slathering it over his still-hard dick. He coats more of it over his fingers.

“I’m gonna need you to stay still for me,” Ed says, skating his steel fingers over Roy’s back. “Can you do that for me?”

“Nngh,” Roy says.

Ed pushes Roy’s shoulder into the bed with his automail hand and feathers his lube-slicked fingers over his asshole.

Roy whines and pushes against him.

“You have to control yourself,” Ed growls into his ear. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Roy’s breath comes out in short gasps. “I can take it.”

Ed nips his ear, part teasing, part annoyance, but then he pushes in, and Roy opens up easily around his fingers, like he was waiting for it. Ed bites his lip and forces himself to go slow and take his time stretching Roy wide before withdrawing his hand and lining up behind him.

“Get ready, Roy, I’m gonna fuck this right out of your system,” he says.

Roy moans long and sweet as Ed slowly pushes all the way in. The pressure takes Ed’s breath away, and he digs the nails of his flesh hand into his palm to keep from coming right there. He draws a steadying breath and pulls back, then pushes back in. Roy lifts his hips to meet him, braced on his knees and elbows on the bed. He’s biting down on the pillowcase.

Ed has no idea how he’s supposed to last like this. He bows his head, resting it lightly between Roy’s shoulder blades as he fucks him. The wave in him is growing, mounting higher and higher, and every time Ed thinks he’s reached his threshold, it pushes past it and goes higher still until he can hardly breathe or think and he feels like he’s going to explode but he just needs—something—more—

Ed gropes around blindly until his hand finds Roy’s dick. He squeezes and slides swiftly up. He swirls his thumb over the tip and Roy comes with a faraway groan. His entire body shakes with it and he clenches around Ed still inside him and Ed cries out, shattering the bubble his head is in as he follows Roy over the brink.

Ed pulls out, shaky and dizzy, and lays on his back, breathing heavily. Black stars dance around his vision. He wants to sleep for ten hours.

Something warm presses against him. Roy.

“Please,” Ed says, “tell me you’re better. And go drink some water.”

“Forgive me,” Roy says, “but I’m getting hard again.”

Ed takes a deep breath and then groans until he physically can’t anymore.

“Tell me how you really feel,” Roy says, wry.

“Here’s how I feel: fucking exhausted. You do it.”

“Pardon?”

Ed rolls over onto his stomach. “You heard me. You seem to be pretty lucid now, so you do it. Fuck me.”

Roy is quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry if I put you in a difficult position.”

“Huh?”

“I realize now that you felt reluctant to do anything without my consent even though you had no choice.”

“I’m,” Ed stutters, glad he’s facing the headboard and not Roy, “I could have probably figured something out but it would have prolonged your suffering and I didn’t want that, either. But I just…didn’t know how to help you without it affecting me.”

“One could hardly blame you for being affected,” Roy says. “But I don’t hold anything you did against you.”

“But what if you did?” Ed asks the pillow. Sure, it worked out, but if it hadn’t, if Roy resented him, Ed didn’t think he could ever forgive himself.

“Do you want me to sign a contract or something?” Roy asks. “I, Roy Mustang, do hereby preemptively consent to any sexual activities with Edward Elric which may occur while I am under the influence of aphrodisiacs, alcohol, or anything else that may impair my ability to consent in the moment.”

“Fuck off,” Ed says. And then, “Actually, that’d be nice. It’s always good to have things in writing.”

Roy snorts. “It’ll be my first order of business after this.”

“Alright, now let’s get this over with so I can take a nap.”

“You’re so spiteful,” Roy says. “I’ll make sure you enjoy this.”

Ed shifts around a little and gets comfortable. He hears the cap of lube click open, then shut.

Roy eases one finger in first and Ed breathes slowly, trying to force himself to relax around the finger. Roy pulls out, then slides two fingers in. Ed bites his lip.

After a few minutes, Roy withdraws his hand. Instead of his dick like Ed expects, he feels the wet, warm press of Roy’s tongue against his hole.

“Fuck,” Ed gasps, and Roy pushes his tongue in.

Ed clutches the sheets until his knuckles hurt as Roy proceeds to eat his ass out. Stray saliva trails down his crack.

“Roy, stop f-fucking teasing.”

Roy moves back, and cold air hits Ed’s wet hole. Ed shudders.

“You’re beautiful,” Roy says, voice rough.

“Yeah, whatever,” Ed says, getting on his hands and knees, but Roy places a hand on his shoulder.

“No, on your back. I’m taking care of you this time, remember?”

“Taking care of yourself, more like,” Ed says, but he drops back down and rolls onto his back obligingly.

Roy gives him half a smile and presses a soft kiss to his lips. Then he hooks Ed’s legs around his waist and pushes in.

Ed throws his head back and moans. The next time Roy pushes in, he hits Ed’s prostate, and Ed whimpers and digs his hands into the sheets, chest heaving.

Roy’s hands roam over Ed’s bare body—chest, stomach, sides. He’s a little too warm, but it’s a far cry from the unnatural heat from before.

“Talk to me,” Ed says.

“Oh?” Roy says. “You usually spurn my attempts to sweet talk you during sex.”

“Don’t get the wrong idea, I’m not gonna enjoy it,” Ed grumbles. “I just need to know you’re lucid.”

“We can always talk about other things,” Roy says, thumb rubbing circles over one of Ed’s nipples. “The _Veritas_ is due back at Starfleet command for maintenance soon. Maybe we could take a vacation?”

“I know it’s routine and all,” Ed says, breath hitching when Roy pinches, “but Winry’ll resent any implication that she can’t take care of the _Veritas_. But—nngh, sure. V-vacation sounds good.”

“She’ll just have to learn not to take it personally. Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere with—fuck, Roy,” Ed says, breaking off with a whine as Roy wraps his hand loosely around Ed’s hypersensitive dick.

“With what?” Roy asks, voice unbearably teasing. He ghosts his hand up and down the length of Ed’s dick.

“Anywhere with—delicious food—you— _fucker_ ,” Ed gasps.

“I’ll ask around for recommendations,” Roy murmurs.

Ed can’t talk anymore, can only screw his eyes shut and breathe shallowly as Roy fucks him and teases his dick with light touches.

Once he’s so oversensitive he thinks he can’t take it anymore, Ed snaps, “Fucking come in me, already,” and Roy stiffens—and does.

Roy kneels there, still, for a minute before pulling out and collapsing next to Ed.

“I’m fucking done. If you get hard again, you’re sucking your own dick,” Ed says.

“I physically cannot do that,” Roy says.

“Then you’d better not get hard again, huh?” Ed says, eyes fluttering shut.

Roy kisses his cheek. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

“Mmhm,” Ed says, keeping his eyes shut but shifting over so he can nuzzle Roy. “Go drink water. A lot of water. We can shower in five minutes, just…let me wait for my legs to work again.”

“Okay,” Roy says. “Do you want to go for round…” He pauses to count. “…five in the shower?”

Ed cracks an eye open and glares at him.

“Kidding,” Roy says. The mattress shifts as he climbs out of the bed. “Five minutes, don’t fall asleep.”

“Yessir,” Ed mumbles, and snuggles into the pillow.

**Author's Note:**

> [foldedstars](http://foldedstars.tumblr.com/) was very patient and waited for me to finish my piece before posting her STEAMY COMPANION PIECE even though she finished hers in time for royed week, so please go check it out [HERE](http://foldedstars.tumblr.com/post/164776540533)!!! YOU WON'T REGRET IT
> 
> thank you for reading! <3 <3


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